Cupid's Chokehold
by ChocolateCoveredSushi
Summary: When Sasuke wishes for the only girl who has ever noticed him to fall in love with him, Naruto has no choice but to fulfill his wish. SasuHinaNaru
1. Prologue

Cupid's Chokehold

By Chocolate Covered Sushi

When Sasuke wishes for the only girl who has ever noticed him to fall in love with him, Naruto has no choice but to fulfill his wish. SasuHinaNaru

PROLOGUE

_W__hat's so special about him anyway? And why do I of all gods have to watch over this nerd?_ Naruto shook his head and  
>flitted away from the monitor currently showing a teenage boy's visage.<p>

It's true this boy was nothing special, in fact, he was painfully ordinary. He displayed little to no emotion. The teenage boy's mouth was twisted into a familiar frown, dark eyes was framed with black glasses and ebony hair that refused to stay out of his impassive orbs. He possessed no glaring traits that made him stand out; in fact they did just the opposite. His name was Sasuke Uchiha and although his older brother was the new face of Urban Apparel, he still managed to coast through his sixteen dull years of life without experiencing the benefits of his youth.

"Can I help you?" Sasuke stated mundanely while putting away the previous customer's five dollar bill in the cash register. Sasuke paused. What was taking this person so long to order? Sasuke let out a small sigh

"May I take your—" However as soon as he looked up his heart skipped a beat. "…order" Sasuke finished.

Her name was Hinata Hyuuga, or in other words, Sasuke's crush since he'd started high school. She had a traditional kind of beauty, long dark hair and porcelain skin. Eyes: doe like, figure: dainty. And while she was innocently looking up at the menu contemplating her lunch, Sasuke was inwardly dying on the inside. _Why did she have to seem me working in a place like this?_

"May I have a cheeseburger with small fries and a small drink please?" Hinata finally said, jolting Sasuke out of his thoughts. "Ah! Uchiha-san! I didn't notice you."

_Of course she didn't, no one does._ Sasuke quickly brushed his inner comment aside and replied

"O-Oh. Hyuuga-san nice to see you again." A gloved hand angrily tapped the nervous boy's shoulder and presented him with Hinata's order.

"Here you are, a cheeseburger, with small fries and a small soda." Hinata smiled slightly and clutched the fast food bag with both hands.

"Thank you." Hinata turned and with a small wave headed out the door. Sasuke stared at her retreating figure until another voice interrupted him with another order. "Coming right up" was his curt reply.

Sasuke clocked out and shrugged out of his TastyBurger uniform. _At least today was slightly bearable._ After all he got to see Hinata today.

"Hey. What are you gonna do after this" muttered Shikamaru, Sasuke's equally if not more ordinary friend.

"I don't know. Probably gonna go back home and—"

"What? Write in your diary?" Shikamaru teased.

Sasuke glared back at his friend only to witness him performing a bad impersonation of Hinata.

"I'm Hinata and I'm soooo pretty"

"Alright, alright" Sasuke grabbed their bags pushed his friend playfully out of the back door of the restaurant.

Once they were out of the restaurant Sasuke threw Shikamaru's bag at his chortling friend.

"Why is your bag so heavy?"

"Textbooks" Shikamaru replied after dispelling his laughter.

You didn't have to go to Senju Academy to know Shikamaru was a genius, although by his stunt in the restaurant it wouldn't seem so. "Really, I have yet to see you study" Sasuke said sarcastically. The truth was, Shikamaru was too lazy to even open a textbook. The two passed the park on their way back from work. Usually Shikamaru would have something to retort back about his studying habits, but this time he was silent. Sasuke glanced cautiously over at his quiet friend. Shikamaru was too busy eying the park with a blank stare. "What's up with you?" Shikamaru stopped suddenly.

"Aren't you tired of this?" Shikamaru yawned.

"Of what?"

"You know. This. Us."

"What? And why are you talking like that?"

"Look around Sasuke, everyone else has girlfriends instead of us."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Is this what this is about?"

"Don't tell me you didn't notice." Shikamaru began pointing out all the obscure couples in the park. "Mario and Peach? Link and Zelda? Even Lee has a girlfriend."

"Ok, that may be true, but not _everyone_ has a girlfriend. Besides we have more than enough time for—"

"It may be spring now but come February, we'll be all alone with no one. We have to have a strategy" Although the words Shikamaru had been speaking were supposed to be full of passion, instead they came out completely unenthused.

"But I don't think—"

"Come on. Don't you just wish you could go out with Hinata?" Shikamaru probed.

"Well yeah, but…you're really acting weird, Shikamaru."

"And don't you wish you could hold her and run your hands through her…hair?"

"Yea…Wait What?"

"And don't you wish she would just fall in love with you?" He said monotonously.

"Umm, Shikamaru—"

"Don't you?"

"Kind of…"

"Well Say it then."

"Why do I have to—"

"Say it."

"Ok,ok. I wish Hinata would fall in love with me." Sasuke mumbled.

"Say it louder!" Shikamaru leaned in closer.

"I wish Hinata would fall in love with me!" Sasuke yelled out.

"Ok then." Shikamaru about faced and continued to walk past the park.

_What was the point of that?_ Sasuke thought to himself slightly red in the face after Shikamaru's unemphatic monologue. _And since when did Shikamaru become so melodramatic?_ Sasuke slumped and followed Shikamaru's trail. _Now everyone thinks I'm a loser_.

Little did Sasuke know that his new life awaited him, a few steps ahead.

Shikamaru looked at his watch. A smiling blonde's face appeared.

"It's about time. I owe you one."


	2. The Plan

~CHAPTER 1~

Naruto rummaged around in his closet. Throwing the clothes, toys, and anything other unlucky something that happened to be in his way.

"No…No…Not here…Where could they possibly be?" The blonde muttered to himself.

Naruto wasn't the most perfect of mythical beings. In fact, after watching Oprah he self-diagnosed himself as a hoarder: he just couldn't bear to throw anything away, everything was way too important. Even all of the ramen cookbooks that lay untouched on the floor, next to already expired milk that he told himself he would drink later, was too important to put in the trash.

However, out of all these so called "important" things, the most important happened to be no where in sight, his Bow and Arrow. Passed down from generation to generation, one shot of Cupid's arrow would cause any human to fall in love with the first thing they see. If anyone but Cupid were to possess that power, the world as we know it would cease to exist. There is no telling what a human would be able to marry and/or attempt to start a family with.

"There's just no time." Naruto ran and haphazardly put on a blue checked shirt, with dark blue jeans, and flip flops and hurried out the front door.

If he was going to do his job, he would have to do it manually.

…

"Sasuke! Wake up it's time for school!" Sasuke's brother peeked into the room. Groggily sitting up in his bed, the teen rubbed his eyes.

"What time is it?" His question fell on deaf ears.

"Here, wear this." Itachi Uchiha ordered as he threw a shirt at Sasuke's face.

With that, Itachi disappeared out of the doorway leaving Sasuke to gaze sleepily at his brother's awkward display of kindness. It was a brand new dark blue V-neck shirt. Sasuke scanned the new addition to his wardrobe. The Urban Apparel logo was emblazoned on the chest. Sasuke's eyes widened as he grabbed the price tag that was still attached to the T-shirt. $1_50 for this?_ Sasuke ripped the tag off and threw the shirt on. He still had 15 minutes to eat breakfast before he had to walk to school.

He shot one leg into his straight fit jeans while reaching for his school books, and scuffed on a pair of shoes his brother had bought him before. He reached for his glasses and put them on in front of the mirror. Uchiha's had notoriously bad eyesight, and Sasuke bore the full brunt of his family's poor condition. His hair looked like, what his brother had endearingly called, a duck's behind. Sasuke took his comb and tamed his animal like hair. Sasuke filled his leather messenger bag with his notebooks, slung it over his shoulder and headed out of his room.

Downstairs his brother and breakfast awaited him, his hair in a low ponytail and a dirty apron tied around his waist.

"It looks good on you" Itachi stated while beginning to dig into his pancakes.

"You know, people usually take the tags off of the gifts they give, Itachi" Sasuke said drily.

"It was on sale" Itachi said smiling with a glass of orange juice pressed to his lips. Sasuke frowned as yet again Itachi took the liberty of ignoring his comments.

Sasuke ate quickly and gulped down his glass of milk.

"I'm leaving now." As soon as Sasuke got to the door, Itachi called after him, "Tell Hinata Hyuuga thanks for her herbal tea for me. I feel much better already."

"Yea sure" Sasuke mumbled._ You weren't even sick!_ He could feel Itachi smirking from the kitchen table.

Sasuke closed the door behind him, and in his line of sight was a sleek black BMUU convertible.

"Sasuke!" A familiar voice shouted.

"Shikamaru?" Sasuke squinted his eyes through his glasses to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Sasuke ran up to the car. Yes, it was Shikamaru alright, but there was an unknown blonde in RayMan sunglasses in the driver's seat.

"Hurry up and get in, we don't have all day." Shikamaru joked.

Sasuke set his bag down and sat down cautiously on the plush leather seating. The blonde turned around and raised his sunglasses so you could see his striking blue eyes.

"Wassup, I'm Naruto. I'm new." He grinned.

"I'm Sasuke." Sasuke stated still perplexed by the fact that he was in such a nice car.

Naruto turned around and began driving. On their way to school, they passed by the other losers who walked to school.

"So" Sasuke began to break the silence. "Where are you from?"

It was a simple question but it seemed to take Naruto so long to answer, that Sasuke began to wonder if he had heard the question or not.

"California" Naruto finally said after a long period of thinking. He had been in such a hurry that he had forgotten to make up his own back-story.

"Oh" Silence engulfed the air once again. "Do you play any sports?"

He had just been studying human sports and he couldn't even remember the name of one. But God's sports like "Lightning Bolt Dodging" and "Cloud Surfing" was all he could think about.

"I uh…Surf"

"That's cool" Sasuke twiddled his thumbs in the back seat.

"Looks like we're here" Shikamaru piped up, apparently fully rested and energized from his car ride long nap.

Climbing of the convertible, Sasuke felt the baffled stares and muffled whispers of his fellow students. Naruto and Shikamaru followed suit and took their respective places beside Sasuke.

"Woah, this school's kind of nice" Naruto exclaimed grinning widely. "Speaking of nice…"

As soon as Naruto start a trio of girls began walking towards the front doors of the academy. They were your typical popular girls, beautiful, rich, and way out of Sasuke's league. The group consisted of; Temari, the dirty blonde, slightly older, and pugnacious one, Ino, the platinum blonde barbie, and finally Sakura, the model type with a high GPA. Sasuke had to admit that despite years of public scorn by the triple threat, he still managed to gaze wistfully at their passing figures.

Naruto noticed the Sasuke's staring, "is there a special someone?" Naruto nudged the gawking boy.

"N-no" Sasuke stammered, consciously trying to keep his cool.

Naruto stared in the direction of the girl's retreating figures. Because in this world "No" meant "Yes".


	3. The Antagonist

~CHAPTER 2~

Naruto had a lot of work to do if he was going to make this loser into a stud. Right now, he was just observing these humans in their natural habitat.

_Honestly, could this guy get anymore boring? He's so lucky he has me to guide him._

Naruto scrutinized Sasuke's walking figure, contemplating what sort of style he would make him over with.

_But then again, that's still a nice t-shirt. Where'd he get that kind of money?_

Shikamaru looked over at his brooding blonde's figure and sighed. If he was really who he said he was, why isn't Hinata running towards Sasuke like a love sick puppy yet?

_Gangster?...No, too overdone. Jock?...Does this guy even know how to play sports?_

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at Naruto, who was frowing very deeply in concentration. This guy was nuts, he having a complete mental battle with himself and it was obvious neither one of them were winning.

"We have homeroom first" Shikamaru began, breaking Naruto out of his thoughts. "Do you know who your teacher is?"

"Oh yeah" Naruto pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper out of his back pocket. "Kakashi-sensei"

"Looks like we're in the same homeroom then" Sasuke said glancing behind him.

"Well, see you guys, I have Sarutobi-sensei" Shikamaru slumped away into Room 2-F.

Sasuke and Naruto were left to walk to room 2-A just up the hall. They were polar opposites. Sasuke's brooding and depressing atmosphere was soon saturated with the blonde's foxy grin and sunny disposition.

"And you must be the new student" Kakashi droned as the two walked in the room. Sasuke took his seat in the back corner of the classroom. "Why don't you introduce yourself and you know any other fun facts, your hopes, dreams, ambitions, maybe?"

"Right. My name is Uzumaki Naruto! And I'm on a mission, though I can't really say that out loud!"

"Well, you sure said it loud alright" Kakashi muttered rubbing his head. "Alright, take an empty seat, if you can find one.

Naruto scouted around for an empty seat but to no avail found none.

"Uh, teacher, there is no empty seat"

"Hmm" Kakashi thought for a little bit "I'll be right back" and with that Kakashi walked out of the room.

"When he says, "I'll be right back" that means he'll be back in time for the bell to ring" a voice called out.

Naruto, still seatless, turned to face the owner of the voice.

"I'm Sakura by the way." The girl smiled.

The cogs and gears began to turn in the golden boy's head. _So this is the girl Sasuke likes._ _Her forehead's a little big but still, nice choice. _Now all he had to do was figure out what she liked and report the information back to Sasuke.

"Can I borrow this?" Naruto asked while yanking a seat away from a hopeless character without a name. "I'm interviewing all the pretty girls in this school for our school paper, and all the guys want to know 'What Do Pretty Girls, such as yourself, Look For in a Guy?'"

Obviously flattered, Sakura giggled. "Aren't you new? You can't be working for the school paper, or I would have seen you by now."

"You got me!" Naruto raised his hands up.

"But if you must know" Sakura motioned for Naruto to come closer. Naruto lowered his hands and little and leaned in. "You're totally my type" She whispered in his ear.

"Mr. Uzumaki!" Naruto jumped from his seat. Kakashi tapped the desk and chair beside him. "You can put your seat next to Sakura, seeing as you two are already acquainted with each other" An assorted chorus of snorts and giggles filled the room.

"Of course, Kakashi-sensei" Naruto grinned and quickly dove into the seat next to him while Kakashi reclaimed his spot at the head of the classroom.

"Well, now that we've gotten to know the new student, here are some announcements: Professor Jiraya will be coming to speak at Senju Academy, it is a mandatory school meeting next week before right before homeroom, so be sure to be at the auditorium on time at 8, ok?" Kakashi arched an eyebrow at the obvious enthusiasm emanting from the classroom.

Naruto peered over to the back of the classroom where Sasuke was situated. Apparently he was intently scribbling something in his notebook. Naruto raised an eyebrow and proceeded to Sasuke's desk as soon as the bell rung. Sasuke slammed his book closed and began to shove his books in his messenger bag.

"I have Chem next, what about you?" Sasuke stood up.

"Same, wait where are you going? I thought Kakashi was the Chem teacher?"

"We're going to the lab today" Naruto inwardly groaned at the thought of actually having to learn something in school.

As they walked out of homeroom and towards their destination Naruto noticed a familiar pink haired figure enter the lab before them.

_This is a perfect scenario, it's a double period. Just get him to be his lab partner and he's in. I just need to—_

"Are you okay?" Sasuke cut in.

"Wha-What? Yea. Why?"

"Because you're just standing in front of the door" Sasuke deadpanned.

Naruto grinned and started to push Sasuke in.

"Oh, you again. I guess we'll get to know each other very well from now on" Kakashi's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Well class, if you didn't know already this is the new student, Naruto, please make him feel right at home." Naruto took a seat at a lab table next to Sasuke. "For this lab we will need to pair up, so grab these instructions from the desk, and get to work, oh and um put on some goggles and gloves, be safe, don't break anything."

Once Kakashi had finished his monologue the races to procure the best partner began. Long term science partners had already exchanged knowing "lets be partners again because we're always partners" look from across the room, jocks dove to know-it-alls and smart asses who would do all the work for them, some waited to be asked, while others were more aggressive, namely Sakura, who practically cornered Naruto.

Sakura batted her eyelashes, "Hey you want to be partners" She dropped her gaze to the floor coyly.

"Uh."

Sakura looked up.

"Sure" Sasuke scratched his head uncomfortably while glaring at the blonde who was giving him a thumbs-up from the corner of his eye. For some reason unknown to him, Naruto had pushed him towards Sakura out of the blue.

Now that Naruto had taken care of his awkward client, he would have to get a lab partner for himself.

_Let's see, we have a frumpy girl, bug boy, and an axe murderer._ _No contest._

Naruto began to make his way to Hinata before he was stuck with the latter two, Shino and Gaara. Parallel to him, Shino was desperately making his way to the oblivious girl as well.

Naruto quickened his gait and slid into the chair beside the girl, "Hey! Wanna be partners?"

Hinata sharply turned to Naruto with a bewildered expression as if she had just been blinded by Naruto's overall brightness and sputtered out an okay.

"Cool , uh…"

"Hinata"

"Right, Hinata-chan"

Hinata blushed a little and began to fiddle with the graduated cylinder.

"How the heck do you put these on?" Naruto writhed and wiggled but no matter how much he tried he couldn't figure it out.

"Here" Hinata giggled a little, "like this" She put on her own goggles.

"Oh so you think this is funny?" Naruto pouted, goggles finally secured on his face. "These are so uncomfortable" Naruto wiggled his nose, "but they look cute on you" Hinata blushed at Naruto's blunt comment.

"T-thank you"

-Meanwhile at Sasuke's Table-

Sasuke began to grow more irritated at the commotion going on at Naruto's table that he nearly forgot about the lab altogether. Sasuke took off his goggles and rubbed his glasses menacingly.

"Ok so, first we have to put the carbontetrachloride in the flask and mix it with sodiumbicarbonate" Sakura looked up at Sasuke to make sure he was listening. Her heart skipped a beat, not because she liked him or anything—that was highly improbable. But for that moment, without his glasses, he actually looked, well, dateable to say the least. Sasuke put his glasses and goggles back on and began to stir the solid with the liquid.

"Sakura?" Sasuke looked at Sakura to find her staring and him with a puzzled expression. Beginning to feel really self conscious about his face, Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Sakura soon snapped back out of it and mentally hit herself for finding him, of all people, to be attractive.

….

"Thank god, it's lunch time" Naruto plopped down on the bench next to Sasuke.

"It took you long enough" Shikamaru sighed, stealing one of Chouji's barbecue chips and popping it into his mouth.

Naruto grinned, "I guess I just lost track of time. Thank god I wasn't paired with no-brow or beetle boy"

Sasuke, who had been in a bad mood since the lab, reached for his backpack to pull out his lunch, but just as he was doing so an orchestrated swoon filled the cafeteria.

"You forgot your lunch Sasuke" A monotone voice sing-songed. At that moment Sasuke tensed up and glared out of the corner of his eye to see a paper bag dangling from the purple-painted fingernails of none other than his own brother. Sasuke attempted to grab the bag from Itachi's grasp.

"What do you say?" Itachi smirked, raising the paper bag over his head. Sasuke twitched.

"Give it!" Sasuke growled as he snatched away his lunch.

"That's not something to say to your big brother" Itachi's sentence trailed off a little as he scanned the room.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Then go home" He was beginning to get suspicious, this was the first time Itachi bothered to come to his school, and he was spending an awfully long time just loitering around. _What was he looking for?_

Itachi's wandering eyes fell on Naruto, who in mid-bite of his lunch ceased chewing. In fact, Itachi's stare was so intense that Naruto was beginning to sweat a little.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, little brother", Itachi said breaking off the one-sided staring contest with Naruto and flickering his eyes towards the direction of certain dark haired girl, "Since I knew that _you_ wouldn't, I decided to come thank Hinata for her tea in person" And with a quick flick of Sasuke's forehead, Itachi walked away.

Sasuke rubbed his forehead furiously and glared at his brother smirking behind him while pushing Hinata out of the lunchroom.

"So…that guy was you're brother huh?" Naruto finally spoke up.

"Yea, shoot me now" Sasuke opened his brown paper bag and reached in for his tinfoil wrapped onigiri and began to unwrap it. Before he knew it he was face to face with a tomato. Literally, there was a face on the tomato, and not just any face, one with a likeness to the bland teenager himself: glasses, grimace, and all.

"Uh…you ok?" Naruto piped up when he noticed Sasuke squeezing Tomato-Sasuke menacingly. "Nevermind" he gulped eying the small trail of juice running down Sasuke's pale hands.

…

"Well, we're here" Hinata stumbled to the door. Why she had just been pushed out of the lunchroom by Sasuke's older brother, who knows?

"Thank You, Hinata" Itachi gave Hinata an awkward pat on the head, which had Hinata raising an eyebrow in confusion before she walked away.

Itachi opened the door, walked into a large office, before releasing a sigh. He eyed the secretary who was furiously scribbling in a composition notebook. Itachi cleared his throat. The lady at the desk looked up abruptly, glasses askew on her face. Finally straightening herself up and closing her book quietly, she pushed a button on the telephone.

"Ms. Tsunade, you have a visitor". A muffled response resounded, and the lady gestured towards the door to her right.

Itachi walked towards the door, contemplating how he would even begin to start. Finally turning the knob Itachi walked in.

"Well if it isn't Itachi Uchiha, I didn't think you'd step a foot on this campus again"

She hadn't changed since he'd last remembered her, yet he wasn't surprised.

"You don't look too surprised to see me" Tsunade smirked.

Itachi forced a pained smile, "Nice to see you again. You look…well"

"Years of practice" Tsunade replyed. _Whatever that meant. _"Well?" Tsunade rested her head on her interlaced fingers expectantly.

"…Sasuke will be taking a leave of absence"


End file.
